Edited Jan. 2 at 12:59 a.m.
Hope this thread will lead to helpful interactions for lots of people on here, but what spurred me to create it is my situation that I'll explain:
So I had started seeing someone a while back - near the beginning of August and we were officially together before the end of the month. Things were going great. She's a fantastic person who made my life so much brighter in so many ways. Around mid-late November though she had to move for a promotion (so proud of her!) that would relocate her to Ottawa, about 8-9 hours drive away from me. We had talked about the possibility of me joining her, which I was on board with. It would mean a big step for a relationship only a few months old, but I wanted us to progress, and so did she. We both felt like this could be something special. Here's where the hitch comes in...
So I should explain that there is an age gap; I'm 23 soon to be 24, she's 27 soon to be 28. The thing is that she has timeline that's very important to her (for private personal reasons that I won't share) where she wants to be in, or at least starting, the marriage and kids stage at 30. So, in large part because of that timeline, she asked me not to come unless I was 110% sure that we would work out and be able to stick to that plan. And I don't know, as much as the thought of that future with her makes me happy, it seems like a lot to promise after just 4ish months. It feels like it may as well be a proposal - no ring involved but I'd be giving my word that, yes, beyond a shadow of a doubt, we will have that life.
And so we broke up. I didn't feel right about promising all that. Not because I don't want it, but because if I were to agree to that and then for whatever reason it didn't work out, I'd feel like the biggest jerk in the world for wrecking her plans/timeline. I want her to have the life that she wants and deserves and I could never forgive myself if I were the reason she didn't.
But now I'm just sitting here, missing her so much, and wondering if I'm being stupid for walking away from a life I feel I would have been happy in because I felt like I was being rushed into it...
Thanks for taking the time to read, if you did. Any thoughts would be much appreciated. And please, if you have any problems or questions of your own, by all means add them to the thread.